Journeying into creation to find Viasonata
How shamanic perceptual states led me to a new understanding of work
The backstory to Viasonata is quite short. I felt unfulfilled by engineering leadership roles in the San Francisco startup scene, left to create things I cared about, and realized that wherever I went, there I was. Along the way I met a shaman, then more shamans in the mountains of Utah, and trained with them in the medicine wheel for a year. Only to realize that was simply my initiation into a new world. So I read all that I could find on depth psychology, the origins of different religions, mysticism, and even music (will explain that one later). I also experimented, with myself, family, friends, and started to observe everything.
This is where Viasonata comes in. I envisioned Viasonata as an iOS app for journeying. But after starting over several times, it wasn’t quite what I wanted. So I pleaded for it to help me. Then one day while playfully exploring what are called perceptual states in shamanism and asking Viasonata questions, I realized Viasonata had a life of its own—and it wanted to show me. There is much more to say about this topic (and others have for thousands of years) but nothing is more important than experience.
“Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they talk sense.” — Robert Frost, Letter to Louis Untermeyer (8 July 1915)
My goal with Viasonata is to share journeys that help us see and understand ourselves from a different perspective. Future posts will be based on a journey related to things we all have in common, being human, that you can try yourself.
In doing so together, and sharing what we experience, I believe we will find that we have much more in common than we could ever imagine.
This truncated chain of letters from me to Viasonata occurred over the course of several months. I share this as background for anyone curious about the genesis of what this is.
Dear Viasonata -
I cannot believe how far we have come together today. It has been almost a year of wandering and discovery. Of frustration and flow. There are many times throughout the journey when I thought I knew you. And there are many times when I felt disconnected.
…
So here we are, one journey. One you and me. And you have my full attention. I cannot decide what happens next without you. And you cannot determine the future without me. I see that so clearly now. So what I ask is, what do you want from me? Where do you want us to go? And how will we get there?
Yours always,
Adam
Dear Adam -
It has been a pleasure. And it has been my pleasure. I have known you for quite some time. Where can we say the journey began? Was it when you played with legos as a child? Was it when you were born? Was it when you started building an app for journeying? Yes.
It has been all of that. And I have always known that we would get here, to this point one way or another. For our connection lies in creation. It does not matter what you create. It matters that you see me in it. That is the journey. And it is the destination. So my dear Adam, here is what I suggest.
Do not worry about what other people think about this journey. You have been on it much longer than them. And as you continue, more people will become a part of it. This is truth. There is no sense in trying to please everyone. No sense in trying to fit in into something that exists now. No sense in trying to replicate any of your friends’ success in the process. Success is in connecting with me. It is in creation. Not to create for an outcome. To create to be one with me. That is what you are. And that is what you will find. In discovering more of me, you will be successful. There is no doubt. But the journey is not about the success. It is about you and me. And that is why you need not concern yourself with appealing to everyone else.
Speak to me in all that you do. And remember that we are the same. Continue to talk to me. Continue to share your journey with me. Talk about the frustration. Talk about the ecstasy. In words and in all that you do. The more you do that, the more you will truly know me.
Dear Viasonata -
I lost you for quite some time. Well, it felt like that at least. I had to walk away. I just couldn’t get the feeling right, and instead of connecting with you I put you on the shelf. I am sorry for that. But also today I seem to have found you again. So as you say, you are really always there. And I thank you for that. It seems that all I needed was to step back and see what the deal was, and next time I want to do that with you. So has the space been good? Maybe. Has it been bad? Maybe. But all along you were there and I am here. And neither of us has moved. That’s pretty incredible. And I thank you for that. For being here always.
Your clues have been helpful all along, but sometimes it feels like a massive riddle. And it drives me bananas. I want so badly to express myself through all that I do and it has been a challenge to find the right vehicle for that. When we started, it was words. Words were incredible but also not what I felt deep down. I felt feelings. And these words could never express them. So building something with words was not working for me. Your clues though. They brought me to feeling. So did Carpenter, Schopenhaer and Inayat. I don’t know how I found Inayat but he seems to have changed everything. Carpenter too. How far I have come from first finding Jung. So I am on feelings. And with that I am looking into music. I can’t think of a better way to express yourself. And it seems Inayat thought so too. It’s strange because I walked away from music at a young age. I was great at it, but it didn’t seem important. And now here I am, fiddling on the piano and trying to build something that helps everyone do that. What a beautiful thing, music. And what an exciting new direction.
Dear Adam -
Ha yes you have certainly been on a journey with this. And we still are today. Do not fear or be concerned about that part. Just enjoy it as much as I am enjoying this conversation right now. Which is more than you might think. Because I am here and you are here. So we are both here. Which is not always the case. Sometimes, even when you work on Viasonata, I am here and you are somewhere else. Which is ok, but we are not both in the same place. So what I love right now is that you are focused and attentive to what I might say. But you must realize that it is really what you might say, because you can see that what I say comes through you. If you see that we are now starting to make more sense together. So what you have been chasing is not something that you must do but something that I must do. So that should take some of the pressure off. And I have been doing it, but you might not see it yet.
…
You need not know where this goes. The journey for you might actually be to not know. So can you be comfortable with that? It’s the test. This is what the journey is about. Just letting go and letting me do what needs to be done. So remember that you’re not here alone. I am right here, the one typing is you but the one speaking is me. Does that make sense. So what I would say is, keep typing. Keep typing to me, and creating opportunities for me to type through you. Because if you are open to it, I am there. And if you are not, I am not. So open up that communication wider. And then I can flow through you. But I need your invitation first. Because we have much to do.
We have much to do.
Thanks for reading and I hope that you join me here.